i had my first strand of white hair at thirteenit was an ordinary dayturned into an un-ordinary daymom was combing my hairi was daydreaming, blissfully unawarewhen mom told me her findingmy heart screamed and screamedhow could this be possible?it simply could not be!i shook my head franticallydenial, denialthe light must have played tricks on heri could not believe it for the worldmy kind sister showed me proofa photo on a mobile phone, a sympathetic “oof”and that was when i thought:i will grow old someday

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an hour later, in school,i was feeling bluei cast glances of envyat the classmates around megossiping and noddingsmiling and laughingthey were perfectly ordinarythey were perfectly happythey did not have their first strand of white hair at thirteenmy teachers walked into the classroomheads of hair like flowers in full bloomradiating from head to toethe very definition of “glow”they were, compared to me, years and years oldernot a strand of white hair on their shouldersone thing’s for surethey did not have their first strand of white hair at thirteen

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looking in the mirrori thought i’d see that strand of white hair cleareri wanted to launch a vicious attackbut it was lost in a sea of blacka sea of black . . . like everyone elseinto the crowd, it meltsbut i was never normali was born different insidereassuredi stepped away from the mirrorit’s okay to be different and have your first strand of white hair at thirteen

that consoling reassurance vanished with a puffi thought i could be strong, but it proved toughwhen an article appeared on the newstalking about that writer’s old-age bluesfading memory . . .fading body . . .old soul full of spite . . .bare head full of white . . .was this a sign of the end?did i need to say goodbye to my friends?was i going to grow old?was i going to grow as old as mold?i checked my skin for wrinklesi checked my skin for a single crinklejust in casejust in caseit’s not okay to have your first strand of white hair at thirteen

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i came across an article about not wasting timehow we can be more productive and earn another dimethe writer said we should always rememberwe won’t be living foreverwe should focus on the life we are leadinginstead of wallow in self-pitythat got me thinkingmaybe getting white hair isn’t such a big thingwhy should i wallow in self-pity and be a borewhen i could be doing so much more?they say that the day you know you will dieis the day you start livingfor me the day i knew i had white hairwas the day i started livingit doesn’t matter if you have your first strand of white hair at thirteen