i wrap my hand around my wrist, feel my heartbeat run my fingers up and down my skin, skin i wish i could crawl out of skin that’s been touched out of love and out of lust skin that’s been cut open for a fleeting sense of peace

wrapped around a body that’s been fattened and starved that’s been taken care of, been taken advantage of

when i look in a mirror i see a face that’s been covered with makeup, kisses, burning tears that wash it all way a face that i no longer know

laying here in the darkness, fingernails digging into my skin but the pain in the body cant quiet the screaming in my mind

every time i close my eyes, i feel it all over again. so i squeeze my eyes shut, begging for god to take me not because i want to die, but because i don’t know how to live in a body that doesn’t feel like mine, anymore.