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School

Perfection

“Five minutes left.” My teacher’s calm voice chimes. My brain freezes. I glance at the clock. The seconds are ticking by rapidly. I HAVE to finish this test. Now I am just trying to do it as fast as I can. Should I think it through or just slap down an answer? Kids start standing up and handing in their papers. The metal legs of chairs clang against desks. I scribble across the paper, not able to feel my hands. Thoughts are running uncontrollably through my brain. Will I fail sixth grade math? My head feels like it’s on fire. Stop it! A voice in my head barks. You are being an idiot! Three more students stand up and push in their chairs. I frantically look at the clock. 10:28. Two minutes left. Should I think it through or just slap down an answer? Tears spring into my eyes, but I won’t let them escape. Should I go to the washroom and buy myself some more time? Suddenly, it’s a race against the clock. I just want to be perfect. I know I’ve always put a lot of pressure on myself. I really want to do well on this. It feels like my whole entire life will rely on this math quiz in sixth grade. It’s not like my parents force me to do well in school or will be upset if I don’t get 100%. It’s me that will be upset. I want to be that perfect student you see in movies and read about in books. I pound my fist against my thigh. I squeeze my eyes shut so the tears won’t leak out. My knuckles turn white from gripping my pencil with all my might. Okay. I take a deep breath. Focus. Finally, I give up. It feels like I’m going to throw up any second now. I rummage through my desk to find my pencil case. I zip it open and see a picture I will treasure forever. It’s my little cousin Emily, at her first birthday party. It’s like it was yesterday. Her mouth was in a perfect ‘O’ shape, ready to blow out her candles. Her reddish-brownish hair was pulled into two ponytails with white ribbons. She was wearing a lavender frilly dress that she kept tugging around, uncomfortable with its itchy material. My parents, my brother and I arrived an hour early to help set up for the party. My cousin was in her dress and dancing around singing “Emmy birthday! Emmy birthday!” I smiled. We tried to teach her how to say her name, but apparently now it’s just “Emmy.” I scooped her up in my arms, and we headed towards the basement as she squealed at the top of her lungs. We climbed down the stairs one at a time, the rough carpet scratching against our feet. She caught her eyes on her bright red toy car and sprinted over to it. “Wait!” I shouted. But she ignored me. I sighed and ran after her. She climbed on and looked at me with a huge grin. I bent down on my knees, grabbed hold of the handles and pushed forward. We circled around the white couch and accidentally crashed into a pile of stuffed animals. Emily fell over and so did I. “Whoops! Sorry Em,” I said. She didn’t have to say anything. Her smile said it all. She gave me a big hug and I knew that she loved me, no matter what I did. The little red car was beat up and old, but it was still filled with many memories. She was honking the car horn and screeching “Beep! Beep! Go car gooooo!” And then she would laugh hysterically. This made me laugh too, so we kept on laughing and laughing until our bellies ached. Suddenly, all my aunts and uncles came thundering down the stairs and raced over to Emily as fast as the 100-meter dash at the Olympics. They all start to gush over her, taking pictures and talking in those high, squeaky voices that adults use when they talk to babies. No one even notices I’m there. It’s so easy for her—she doesn’t have to worry about doing well on a test, or care about what people think. “Kate!” a voice says, snapping me out of my daydream. “Are you coming out for recess?” “Yeah.” I say, zipping up my pencil case I hand in my unfinished test. Nobody’s perfect, not even me. Katie Dillon, 12Winnipeg, Canada

Laura

Slam! The beige metal door of the locker slammed shut. The friendly round face of my best friend Annie, framed with blond curls, peeked out at me. “OK, Francie, finished changing my books!” A large grin formed on her face. “We can go play Laura now.” “Hurry up! Katie and Emilia are already out there!” I pranced ahead of my slim friend, my chin-length brown hair blowing in the nipping November breeze. Katie was my twin. We were both twelve, with dirt-brown hair and hazel eyes. When people first met us, they always thought we were lying when we said we were fraternal. But most of our friends never knew how people could mistake us for identical, since they said we looked “nothing alike.” The other girl, Emilia, was a tall, also blond comrade we’d known since first grade. We hadn’t become best friends until fifth grade, when Emilia’s former best friend Jenny dumped her to join the “popular” group, a sad fate many of our peers had chosen to follow. Annie and I walked across the cold blacktop, where many of the popular boys were playing basketball, a sport I’d never really liked because of the fact all the populars loved it. The popular girls stood huddled in a corner, giggling and pointing at a certain boy. I could see Jenny, wearing a revealing Bebe tank top. I turned around and wrinkled my nose at Annie. “God, they are s0000 disgusting,” I remarked under my breath. “OK, Francie, finished changing my books! We can go play Laura now” “I know,” Annie whispered back. “They were making eyebrow signals to the boys all during math. Mr. Cosden had to ask them three times to stop talking. If I were him, I’d send all of them to the principal’s office.” “Forget the principal’s office! I’d send them to a different planet!” We both burst into laughter. Then we arrived at Laura’s cabin. “Laura” was a game we had played since fourth grade. It was supposed to be a depiction of the famous pioneer girl Laura Ingalls Wilder’s life, although this one wasn’t exactly historically accurate. I was the gruff but lovable Pa, Laura’s beloved father. In this version, though, I was always trying to find a reason for Laura (a.k.a. Annie) to go to the corner. In fourth grade, Laura’s house had been nothing but a crude circle of grass clippings. In fifth grade, our house was behind a huge pine tree trunk and was a little more realistic, but we still had to use lots of imagination. But, now that we were in sixth grade and technically in middle school, we had claimed a small plot of land for ourselves behind the basketball courts. It had four cedars planted in it, with a rarely used sand pit on the right that was used for long jump in P.E., and an old, abandoned part of yellow machinery on the left that we used as a toilet (in the game, I mean.) We’d never really found out what its former purpose was. In the back left-hand corner of the fence was a tall bush. The space behind this bush was used by us as the stables, where the many horses were kept. The rest of our rooms had dead pine branch wall outlines. The rooms consisted of a kitchen, pantry, corner (where Laura was sent for punishment), parlor, a horse exercise station (the sand pit), and many bedrooms. Emilia played different parts. She was all of our horses, Carrie (the younger sister of Laura), and Jack (the family dog). I was just Pa and Annie was just Laura. My sister was both Ma and Bessie, the old heifer who would never let Pa milk her. As we approached Emilia and Katie, we saw they were talking with Adam, the boy I “liked.” I hated to use that word. I mean, he wasn’t necessarily cute, but he was cute in my eyes because of my “admiration of his good personality,” the words I preferred to replace “like” with. I gulped and gratefully grabbed one of our pine brooms when Annie offered it to me. Then I concentrated feverishly on clearing debris off the hard, dusty floor. “Hey, Pa and Laura, aren’t you even going to say hello to Uncle Adam?” Emilia’s questioning voice rang in my ear. “Uncle Adam” was the nickname that my twin and two friends called Adam whenever he visited our cabin. Annie and Emilia would ask embarrassing questions to him, such as “Uncle Adam, where do babies come from?” for no other reason than to see him blush. I looked up at him. His green eyes were hidden behind his solar changing glasses. Right now, the lenses had acquired a dark color because of the strong sunlight peeping through the pine boughs. His shiny black hair was slightly tousled from the wind. My palms grew sweaty and I took a deep breath. Better stay in character, I thought. “Adam!” My voice was thick with a pioneerish accent. I swaggered over to him and slapped him hard on the back. “Fancy you comin’ all the way up here from Virginie just to see yer sister ‘n’ nieces. Ma, bake this man some a yer corn dodgers.” Katie bustled off while she called in a singsong voice to Annie and Emilia. They busied themselves with imaginary batter and ovens while I took Adam aside. “Best get outta here soon, Adam, or Ma’ll never let you go. You know women. Always jabberin’ on ’bout this, that, or the other thing.” I whispered comments loudly in his ear. “Uhh . . . yeah,” he replied, somewhat bewildered and mystified about the stretches of our imaginations. I could tell his own imagination was somewhat rusty from disuse. “Corn dodgers’re on the table!” Katie called to us. We walked into the kitchen. Katie, Emilia, Annie, and I all sat down on the floor and bit into the air in our hands, pretending they were

Audition

“This is crazy,” Marie said for the fourth time. From her seat in front of the steering wheel of the family’s old station wagon, Mom gave her a side glance and an encouraging smile. The dense woods that surrounded the road flashed by the windows in a green blur as the afternoon sun streamed through the back window and cast the car’s long shadow on the road ahead of them. Marie wrung her sweaty hands, biting her lip in nervous anticipation. “This is completely crazy,” she whispered. They were watching her, and she knew what she had to do, so she started her monologue For the past two months Marie had been practicing an audition for the school’s spring play, “Little Women.” She had spent hours memorizing the lines to a monologue, and perfecting it so that she could act in the most realistic and persuasive way she could today. She knew it all like the back of her hand. But that didn’t stop her stomach from turning flip-flops like a crazed acrobat, or the slight shake of her body, or that frightened, worried feeling that had been growing inside of her all day long. *          *          * Mom parked the car in the lot in front of the school and gave her a wink for good luck. Marie pushed her door open and stepped out into the cool, fresh air, her legs feeling weak. She eyed the building, knowing that inside of it was a line of other students waiting to be called into the theater. That line of students was her competition. Marie took a deep breath. “I’m going to do this,” she said quietly to herself. “If it kills me, I’m going to do this. There is no way that I’m going to turn back now and give up—I’d never forgive myself.” She headed toward the school. *          *          * It was getting up on stage that was hard. Once Marie was on the shiny wooden surface, raised a good five feet or so above the rest of the floor, with four teachers seated at a table in the back with their eyes glued on her, she couldn’t not start. They were watching her, and she knew what she had to do, so she started her monologue. And once she began, the rest followed. She didn’t lose her voice, or forget her lines, or even stumble over them much. Her voice might have been a little shaky at first, but the more she spoke the steadier and more definite it became. Soon, the teachers vanished from her mind, and she became her character, and was no longer Marie, no longer in the school, and no longer nervous, at least, not very much. And then she had finished. Another student was entering. It was time for her to leave. *          *          * The relief that came upon her, now that she had done it, and it was over, and everything was out of her hands, was greater than Marie ever thought it was going to be. Now all she had to do was wait. And whether she got a large part, or a small part, or no part at all, she had tried. She had done her best, putting all that she possibly could into it. And, for now, that was enough. Lisa R. Neher, 13Covington, Washington Sabina Kraushaar, 11Durango, Colorado