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May/June 2003

Sunrise

My eyes opened. Sitting up, I glanced at my clock on my nightstand, and read the green, fluorescent letters: 4:42 AM, three minutes before my alarm was due to go off. I stretched out my arm and turned off my alarm. Scrambling out of bed, I changed from my pajamas into a tank top and shorts. I yanked a brush through my frizzy brown hair, and stuffed it up into a ponytail. I left my room and tiptoed down the hallway, trying hard not to make any noise. Creeping down the stairs, I forgot about the step that always creaked, and as it did, I winced. I hated how small sounds were always magnified in the quiet. I stayed where I was for a moment, and, holding my breath and crossing my fingers, I listened for stirrings from my family. When they didn’t come, I let my breath go, and uncrossed my fingers, relieved. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t bother with breakfast, as I wasn’t really hungry yet. I pulled my sandals on, and walked out the screen door into our backyard, and then began trudging up the back pasture to the top of the hill. The date was June 21, the summer solstice, the day with the longest sunlight hours of the year. I had gotten up early to watch the sunrise. I know it sounds a little weird, but it’s a tradition of mine. I’ve always done it, as long as I can remember. The sunrise has always been special to me, put in the same category as the unicorns the six-year-old me believed in. My older brother Ian used to come watch them with me, but now, at sixteen, he thinks it’s dumb, and immature. Last night when I made the mistake of asking him if he wanted to accompany me, he just came up with an excuse in his wannabe manly way. “Can’t, Beth, I gotta sleep well. I have a big all-star baseball game this weekend, and Coach will be really mad if I’m tired.” I felt as if there was nothing in the world but the sunrise and me “Now Beth, dear,” added my mother, who had been listening, “don’t you think you are getting a tad old for that? I mean, you are thirteen years old.” Folding his Wall Street Journal, my father agreed. “Yes, Beth, you should call up one of your friends. Maybe they could pry your nose from that notebook of yours.” In response, I nodded to show I had understood. My parents seemed satisfied, and went on to more interesting conversation. So often I feel like an alien in my own family, traded with their real daughter at birth. I mean, with the exception of me, my family is the typical American family. My father is a lawyer in a successful firm, my mother is a homemaker, and my brother the star of every sports team he plays on. The only reason we live in Vermont instead of New York City is that Mother needs to take care of her failing parents, who were prescribed “good, healthy air” along with many pills by the doctor. I am the misfit of the family. I am quiet, studious, prefer the company of the characters in my books and stories to the flighty ditzy girls at my school, and am nearly always writing. My parents don’t understand my writing. They think it is a little, silly hobby of mine, and hope I will outgrow it and become what they think of as “a normal girl.” But I am far more serious about writing than they know. I want to be an author, and win the Pulitzer Prize. I know this is a big dream, but I also know it is what I desperately want to do. If only my writing came out on paper as it was in my mind. I reached the top of the hill, and pulled myself out of my thoughts. In the west, the sky was still dark with night, a deep navy blue. Overhead that blue was blending with almost purple shades, which in turn were mixing with reds and pinks. In the east, I could see the glimmering pinks and yellows of the sun beginning to rise. My watch said 5:19. According to Internet data, the sunrise had begun. Sitting down, not minding the dew on the grass, I just watched. The blue and purple, once overhead, were slowly moving backward, opening up the sky to a whole palette of new colors. Oranges, coral-like pinks, reds, and yellows were streaked and blended in the whole sky in front of me. They were colors so amazing that I was sure there had never been a sunrise as beautiful as this. There was an upward shaft of sunlight, so intense at the bottom it dazzled my eyes. Surrounding it was a sea of pinks and reds and yellows, which seemed to ripple as a real ocean does. I had never known there to be so many different colors! I felt as if there was nothing in the world but the sunrise and me. It was then, as the sun burst from the horizon, so magnificent and regal, a ball of yellow fire, that I heard the voice. “Your dream,” it said, “follow your dream. You can make it. Keep on trying. Don’t give up hope!” I was dazed. Who is this voice? Who, or what, was speaking to me? “Don’t give up hope!” the voice said again. And then I knew who was speaking. It was the birds, and the crickets, the trees, and the grass, the wind, the clouds, the sun, and the colors of the sunrise. But mostly me. It was I who wanted my dream to come true and I who would have to work for it. “I’ll get there,” I replied. “I’ll do the work; I’ll make my dream come true.” Emily Blackmer, 12Hopkinton, New Hampshire Anjali Thakkar, 12San Jose, California

Sunrise

My eyes opened. Sitting up, I glanced at my clock on my nightstand, and read the green, fluorescent letters: 4:42 AM, three minutes before my alarm was due to go off. I stretched out my arm and turned off my alarm. Scrambling out of bed, I changed from my pajamas into a tank top and shorts. I yanked a brush through my frizzy brown hair, and stuffed it up into a ponytail. I left my room and tiptoed down the hallway, trying hard not to make any noise. Creeping down the stairs, I forgot about the step that always creaked, and as it did, I winced. I hated how small sounds were always magnified in the quiet. I stayed where I was for a moment, and, holding my breath and crossing my fingers, I listened for stirrings from my family. When they didn’t come, I let my breath go, and uncrossed my fingers, relieved. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t bother with breakfast, as I wasn’t really hungry yet. I pulled my sandals on, and walked out the screen door into our backyard, and then began trudging up the back pasture to the top of the hill. The date was June 21, the summer solstice, the day with the longest sunlight hours of the year. I had gotten up early to watch the sunrise. I know it sounds a little weird, but it’s a tradition of mine. I’ve always done it, as long as I can remember. The sunrise has always been special to me, put in the same category as the unicorns the six-year-old me believed in. My older brother Ian used to come watch them with me, but now, at sixteen, he thinks it’s dumb, and immature. Last night when I made the mistake of asking him if he wanted to accompany me, he just came up with an excuse in his wannabe manly way. “Can’t, Beth, I gotta sleep well. I have a big all-star baseball game this weekend, and Coach will be really mad if I’m tired.” I felt as if there was nothing in the world but the sunrise and me “Now Beth, dear,” added my mother, who had been listening, “don’t you think you are getting a tad old for that? I mean, you are thirteen years old.” Folding his Wall Street Journal, my father agreed. “Yes, Beth, you should call up one of your friends. Maybe they could pry your nose from that notebook of yours.” In response, I nodded to show I had understood. My parents seemed satisfied, and went on to more interesting conversation. So often I feel like an alien in my own family, traded with their real daughter at birth. I mean, with the exception of me, my family is the typical American family. My father is a lawyer in a successful firm, my mother is a homemaker, and my brother the star of every sports team he plays on. The only reason we live in Vermont instead of New York City is that Mother needs to take care of her failing parents, who were prescribed “good, healthy air” along with many pills by the doctor. I am the misfit of the family. I am quiet, studious, prefer the company of the characters in my books and stories to the flighty ditzy girls at my school, and am nearly always writing. My parents don’t understand my writing. They think it is a little, silly hobby of mine, and hope I will outgrow it and become what they think of as “a normal girl.” But I am far more serious about writing than they know. I want to be an author, and win the Pulitzer Prize. I know this is a big dream, but I also know it is what I desperately want to do. If only my writing came out on paper as it was in my mind. I reached the top of the hill, and pulled myself out of my thoughts. In the west, the sky was still dark with night, a deep navy blue. Overhead that blue was blending with almost purple shades, which in turn were mixing with reds and pinks. In the east, I could see the glimmering pinks and yellows of the sun beginning to rise. My watch said 5:19. According to Internet data, the sunrise had begun. Sitting down, not minding the dew on the grass, I just watched. The blue and purple, once overhead, were slowly moving backward, opening up the sky to a whole palette of new colors. Oranges, coral-like pinks, reds, and yellows were streaked and blended in the whole sky in front of me. They were colors so amazing that I was sure there had never been a sunrise as beautiful as this. There was an upward shaft of sunlight, so intense at the bottom it dazzled my eyes. Surrounding it was a sea of pinks and reds and yellows, which seemed to ripple as a real ocean does. I had never known there to be so many different colors! I felt as if there was nothing in the world but the sunrise and me. It was then, as the sun burst from the horizon, so magnificent and regal, a ball of yellow fire, that I heard the voice. “Your dream,” it said, “follow your dream. You can make it. Keep on trying. Don’t give up hope!” I was dazed. Who is this voice? Who, or what, was speaking to me? “Don’t give up hope!” the voice said again. And then I knew who was speaking. It was the birds, and the crickets, the trees, and the grass, the wind, the clouds, the sun, and the colors of the sunrise. But mostly me. It was I who wanted my dream to come true and I who would have to work for it. “I’ll get there,” I replied. “I’ll do the work; I’ll make my dream come true.” Emily Blackmer, 12Hopkinton, New Hampshire Anjali Thakkar, 12San Jose, California

Star of David

Fear and disbelief drip down the back of my neck. I am leaning against the wall, feeling cold, hard, merciless brick beneath my palm, hearing things—simple, life-giving things, such as breath and whispers and rustles of skirts—so loudly that I’m afraid my very listening will give me away. On my side, my Jewish charge, and I want to tell her to kneel, to get shorter, to do something other than stand there and look at me with those pleading eyes. To take off that necklace she wears, the little silver chain with the tarnished Star of David hanging limply from it. No time, I remember, and it amazes me that even my thoughts come in short spurts. My older brother Henk has practiced with me many times ever since he has taken it upon himself to open our home to the persecuted Jews. Many alarms I was sure were real turned out to be hoaxes, gentle deceptions, in benefit of my training. But this—no, this was no fraud. I had seen the tobacco-stained teeth out the window, the frilly mustaches. I had heard the front door slam and their feet ascend the stairway. Leah’s hand edges into mine and I feel like falling into tears, enraged toward the Germans, hateful of everything they hold dear to them. How can they curse Leah, such a simple, innocent soul? What demon is tearing my continent, my precious Europe, apart so? Have these people not known kindness, and do they not understand how to imitate mercy? Whispers in Yiddish. I can’t comprehend it. Funny, I think, that the soldier, the Jew, and I all speak different languages and come from different cultures, yet still live in mortal terror of the other. “Which one of you is the Jew? Or are you both Jews?” Boots are getting nearer. They’re in the living room, perhaps, with the unstylish masses of Victorian furniture and its quaint view of the winding creek outside our townhouse window. From there it is a short leap into the hallway, then the closet door—from there, us, hiding behind the furs. They don’t stop in the living room; steady, trim clicks are advancing down the hall. Leah’s hand grows a tighter grasp on mine, and my eyelids suddenly fall shut, staying tightly latched. I’m so still—my breath, my thoughts, my very heart has stopped—I’m afraid God might mistake me for dead. The door cracks. The light bulb, hanging from a dusty string from the ceiling, suddenly tosses a pool of light upon the floor. The door wafts shut again, and here we are, together: three different people from three very different beliefs. The hangers to our left start clacking and his shoe, with a forlorn stalk of a pants leg growing off of it, is right in front of me. I realize he smells of stale brandy, of restless wandering, of dust. I accidentally think of the shoe polish on the shelf right above our heads, that he might be able to use, but I scold myself for thinking that. Suddenly he yanks a coat away and is staring into my face, then Leah’s. We both stand there, silent for a moment, as I wash my eyes over his clean-shaven, dirt-smudged face. He doesn’t look like Hitler—he looks more like Henk, an honest man caught up in something bigger than his imagination would let him ponder. “Who are you?” he asks, voice rough. “I’m Leis, sir, and this is Leah,” I whisper. “And why ever are you here in this dusty closet?” As he speaks I see his teeth are darkened, a small scar meekly clinging to his lip. “You scared us, sir,” I managed. “We hid as soon as we could.” “Poor darlings. Come out—it’s cold in here,” he says, and he holds open the door for us as we uncertainly, defeatedly, trudge out to the hall. Suddenly I remember—Leah’s necklace—her Star of David! If the soldier found that, he would have proof, proof that she’s a Jew, proof of her country, her heritage, her ancient culture. I glance at her neck but she’s torn it off and thrown it on the floor—I look back at it in the closet, watching its glitter, praying the soldier doesn’t notice it sparkling there, like a trout in a silver spring. He’s gone on, though, to the other soldiers, to present us. “Which one of you is the Jew?” is our greeting, spouted from an older, fattened man. “Or are you both Jews?” “Jew?” I whisper faintly. “There are no Jews . . .” “Which one? There’s been reports of Jews hiding in this house! Which one of you is Jewish?” Our soldier interjects, “They’re children, Setzlich. Danish besides.” Here he glances, silencingly, at us. “It has been said the Danish don’t lie. Jews indeed.” “The Danish don’t lie,” mutters Setzlich, glaring at us both as his voice tumbles into a tumult of anger. “You idiot, Schmidt! The best lying in the business comes from the Danish—I swear, they’ve got the devil on their side!” His hand suddenly reached out and grasped my collar. “Girl,” he growled, “girl, how many rooms is this house?” “This is all,” I say, truthfully, and, distrusting me, he slowly lets go of my dress. “The living room, bathroom, and closet.”His eyes stay on me. “Search the cursed closet again, Schmidt,” Setzlich whispers, voice trembling with loathing. “Goderstadt already got the bathroom. See if there’s any more. Then we’ll see if the Danish don’t lie.” “Yes, sir,” says our soldier, and Leah and I exchange terrified looks. A search of the closet would mean the discovery of the Star of David twinkling on the floor, would mean our arrest, might even mean our deaths. My entire heart has suddenly twisted in torment—I can’t think, and can’t breathe. I hear him throwing a ruckus around in there—oh, why make it painful? Just expose us as liars, as protectors of the Jews, of God’s chosen people. He comes out then,