Huh?

Note: This story is based on real events. Also, it is pretty confusing and has lots of parentheses, hyphens, and commas.

After a few minutes of restless turning in bed, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I rolled down my covers, feeling much better when a gust of cold wind greeted me. However, I still felt hot and humid, so I took off my shirt, finally getting comfortable. This is one of the downsides of summer, I thought gloomily, thinking of the heatwave had struck California last week. Gradually, after finally getting cool enough, I was finally able to drift off to sleep, having no idea that this night’s abnormalities would be one of the most peculiar that I would ever experience.

I was partying with my friends on a starship. There were carts, full of chips, party hats, board games, video game consoles, etc. Even though the starship looked small and empty, I felt as if it was the biggest party in the world (dreams mess with your head, you know).

Suddenly, a hand appeared at the end of the ship. You might be wondering, how? Looking back, I’m also wondering the same thing. I recall that apparently, the hangar door was open - don’t ask me how we didn’t die without oxygen or how the party things didn’t fall out of the starship. I also recall seeing a hand grab on to the bottom of the hangar floor, and my friends all running up a staircase that I didn’t even know existed on to a second floor that apparently existed too. And the weirdness didn’t end there. The hand...it had a gun.

I know, right? When that happened, an originally crazy but fun dream turned into a scary nightmare. But, as I said, dreams mess with your head. One minute, you’re laughing your guts out, then a second later, you’re peeing in your pants with fright. But then a yoga ball somehow appears underneath your butt, and you’re bouncing around, and then you’re wondering how in the world a yoga ball could have anything to do with a murderous hand clinging to the edge of a starship (that is actually what happened - 100% legitimacy guaranteed).

Right after the yoga ball incident, everything turned around again Mr. Killer Hand fired his first shot. I guess I was actually pretty creeped out in real life, but for some reason, in the dream, I let out a small laugh, most likely for two reasons: 1) it is hard to be scared when you’re bouncing around on a yoga ball and 2) Mr. Hand was a very bad shot. Shot after shot, miss after miss, bounce after bounce - not a single one of his laser bullets (those were the projectiles that Mr. Hand used - don’t ask me what they are) hit me, thanks to the fact that I was constantly bouncing around on the yoga ball, making me a hard target (but still one an amateur could hit).

However, the finale has got to be the weirdest part. The hand slid from the starship (it was probably too tired to hang on) and somehow left its gun (two questions I still haven’t answered: how and why?) on the starship. I shouted to my friends, “You can come down! It’s safe!” I waited, but there was no reply. “Guys?” Nothing. “Guys!” Still nothing. Hands trembling, and yoga ball disappearing, I closed my eyes and picked up the gun.

Then I woke up, sweating even more than a basketball player would in the course of a whole year. What a dream!, I thought to myself. This was my second-ever nightmare (my parents say that it wasn’t a nightmare, but I still consider it to be one), the first one being one about a kidnapping (I would rather not talk about it), and also my second-most recent one, happening about 2 years ago. My most recent one involves loud tires and whirring blades - it wasn’t very interesting, however.

The lesson that I learned: If you want to sleep peacefully, peel open your eyelids when you’re about to have a nightmare ( I actually did that when I was about to have my 4th nightmare). I also learned that you should never throw a party on a starship with the hangar door open and to make sure to check if your residence has a second floor. But most importantly, I learned that you should always keep a yoga ball at handy!