Aedan Lily Hayes

Deep Observation, by Aedan

I walked down stairs to see my dad pacing in the kitchen while on a phone call with the vet. His eyebrows were furrowed as he talked about rabies. Finally, when he got off the phone, he said that nothing serious had happened, we just needed to bring our dog to the vet to get her shots. I felt a wave or relief run though my body as the thought of our dog being sick left my mind. Just a couple minutes after, Assia walks through the door holding two bags of groceries and a cardboard box. She sets the box on the table, and we put away the groceries. When the groceries are where they are meant to be, I enthusiastically ask her what the box is. I saw a smile grow on her face as she says “I got this as a surprise for you and your sisters, it’s a shaved ice machine!” All I could think to say was “thank you! I’m so excited to use this tonight!” While I ate the mango that my father cut up for me, I noticed that outside, the wind was starting to pick up and in a short amount of time it started to pour, and thunder. Even though this storm caused my dad to not be able to go golfing, I loved it because the smell that rain causes when its falling, is unlike any other, and I adore it. Finally, dinner time arrives and we all gather around our dining table to eat the delicious crepes that Assia had prepared for us with so much love. My older sister told us about her day, and what happened at work. The night finished with my whole family playing a game of Machiavelli, and spending irreplaceable time together.    

Memory as Character, by Aedan

At a very young age, my life changed. When I was 3, I moved to Florence, Italy because my parents wanted me to be bilingual, and that wasn’t the only benefit I gained from living in Italy.  For 6 years I thrived there. I made friends, I loved my school and my house, I learned a new language, and most of all, I loved the environment. But when I turned nine, the only life I knew disappeared. My teachers told me, “We are going to have a one-week break because there’s a little virus spreading.” The virus was anything but little. We decided to go to New York for that one week but my father didn’t come, and just that simple decision had led me to not get to see my dad for 2 years. A figure that had been present my entire life, was gone. I was stuck in New York from the beginning of age nine to the end of age ten. Within that time period my parents decided to break the news to me and my sister that they were getting a divorce. I remember my mom calling my dad over zoom and telling us that no matter what, it was all going to be ok. Tears stung my eyes, and all I could think was, it’s NOT going to be ok! At age 10 and 11 I started to go to school in New York. I felt like I didn’t belong. Relationships had already been made, and everyone was a part of a group but me. Each person was wearing a mask and we were all separated into little pods, so I was only allowed to socialize with 8 people. I felt so alone. Finally, one day, I met this girl at a park. We immediately clicked and I felt like I could talk to her about anything. She was there for me when I needed her and I was there for her when she needed me. We started to spend more time together, and soon became inseparable. At 12 years old, I am still best friends with her and I have never felt more connected and comfortable with someone. I feel less like I’m some kind of stranger at school, and more like I belong. There are still some concepts that I find hard to accept, but, deep down, I know that there’s nothing I can do to change the fact that they are real and eventually I will have to find peace with them.

Ethnographic Interview, Aedan

Everyone has a different experience with their family. Sometimes it’s a positive experience that leaves you with good memories, sometimes it’s a bad experience that leaves you with irreversible scars, or maybe it’s a mix of both. Assia shared with me the experience she had with her family, and how it was like growing up in her family dynamic. She told me “ it was complicated because I would play with the middle child a lot but since there was such a big age gap between us and the younger sibling, she would get excluded a lot.” But nonetheless she still stated that she enjoyed having siblings because when she would get in fights with her parents, her siblings were always by her side. Like most families, being the oldest came with responsibility. She would have to take care of her sisters when she was at school, and she would have to entertain them. She shared a story with me, about a time when she tried to find a way to entertain her younger sibling, that had a disastrous ending:  “When the youngest was little she asked me to build a tent, and so I decided to attach the sides of the tent to the curtain rod, but the curtain rod was high up so I had to stand on a chair. And keep in mind we were alone in the house with our grandma. When I jumped off the chair, my skirt got stuck on the chair and I and fell, resulting in me cutting my chin open.” At first, she was angry with her sister because she wouldn’t have gotten hurt if her sister hadn’t asked her to build a tent, but in a short amount of time, she came to realize that it wasn’t her sister’s fault, because she didn’t mean for Assia to get hurt, she was simply asking her older sister for help. Families are so different today than what they used to be and so when I questioned Assia on whether her parents got angry a lot and if there were strict rules in her household, she responded with this. “Yes, at times my parents could be strict, and my dad had a tendency to get angry. But we have to remember to not compare parents from my time versus today’s parents because there were different rules, so even though my dad got mad a lot he was a good father.” In conclusion, family and relationships within your family, are unlike in many ways, but they are also one of the things that bind us together, and shape us into who we are and who we are going to be.