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The Forest

After the loss of her mother, Elara discovers her true birthright It was all a blur. The tears, the confusion, the stupid sympathetic but awkward “What do I do now?” looks on the doctors’ faces as they watched my face drop, and the tears start spilling out. I couldn’t even cry anymore, the truth had burrowed into my brain and now just sat there. No emotions, no thoughts, just “Oh. I guess that happened.” How was I supposed to sleep now? I stared at the ceiling. I was awake. Not from sadness, but from utter boredom. I covered my head with my pillow as the baby started another crying fit. Her cries echoed through my head. Haunting me. The new baby was the whole reason this had happened, and yet now she was in bed with my dad, crying about some dumb thing like being hungry, or being tired or needing a diaper change. She didn’t understand the pain, and probably never would. The baby cried for the millionth time since she was born. Which was yesterday. I needed a break. “Dad, I’m going outside” I said drowsily, putting my shoes on. He rushed out to stop me. “Wait. You need to read this first. I already did. It’s from your mother,” he mumbled. I almost couldn’t tell his wife had died yesterday. Almost. He still stuttered over the word mother, and looked at the ground as he said it. Making the words barely audible. I stared at him questioningly and pulled the letter out of the envelope. Seeing the curvy handwriting of my mother almost made me break down in tears. This was probably the last letter my mother had ever written. Somehow, I held in the tears, saving them in my mental bucket. When it overflowed, there would be no way to stop the sobs and they would cascade down my face in waterfalls for hours. I read the letter:   Dear Elara (and Nick), I really don’t want to have to do this, but after I die, you can no longer go into the forest. I’m so sorry, love. I know the forest means everything to you, and I don’t want to have to take it away from you, but it is simply too dangerous and unpredictable now that I’m gone. Please forgive me. —Mom   I stared at my dad in disbelief. “What? No, you can’t. I—I have to go there!” I shouted. My dad looked at the ground and mumbled some more. “Elara, I think it’s better if you stay inside right now.” After a few awkward seconds I reluctantly followed him upstairs. Just then the baby started another crying fit, and Dad rushed to shut her up. I sat on the couch and stared blankly at the wall. The forest was the only part I had left of my mother, and now I didn’t even have that. I felt like sobbing, ripping my hair out, screaming all over again. I couldn’t do this. I didn’t know how anyone could. I was alone. So alone. I had nobody to talk to, nobody to play with, nobody to pass the time with. All I could do was sit and stare at the wall watching the time pass as the baby cried again. And again. And again. I was just a blob. I couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. I could barely walk. The sky was starting to darken. I sighed; I had been staring at the wall for hours. I would never have done that if Mom was still here. Slowly, I stood up and stumbled to bed. *          *          * I woke up the next morning. Despite my sadness and hopelessness the night before, I felt confident and happy. But I hid my smile and stumbled sleepily out into the kitchen. “Good morning, Ela,” Dad mumbled, the circles under his eyes telling me exactly how his night went. “Morning.” I smiled, forgetting that I was supposed to be sad. Dad didn’t smile back, though the slightest hint of amusement hit his face. “Someone slept well,” he decided. His voice held a slightly painful tinge of bitterness and jealousy. “Sorry, Dad,” I muttered under my breath, and then I waited. I had already put on socks and my favorite sweater over my pajama shirt. As soon as the baby started crying, I went for it. I couldn’t help myself from smiling guiltily and mischievously as I slipped my shoes on and begged silently for the door not to creak. Creaaaaaakkk. I grimaced but opened the door quickly and slipped outside. *          *          * I breathed in the fresh air of the meadow and brushed my hand against the long grass beside me. I watched the forest grow closer as I walked, and my heart beat faster as its tall evergreen trees towered over me. I sighed. This was it. I was about to see my mother again, or at least partially. “Elara!” a voice called from behind me. I turned, my smile fading when I saw who it was. “Get back inside. Now,” my dad yelled. The baby, for once, was not crying. Instead, she lay over my dad’s shoulder, drooling on the spit up-covered cloth. I blushed guiltily and followed him inside. “Elara, this is unacceptable. I can’t have you running off whenever I am in the other room looking after your sister.” I cringed. “I have no choice but to ground you.” I stared at him. “What?” I said in disbelief. “But—you—why!?” My dad didn’t reply; he just went into the kitchen to feed the baby. “Well no wonder I tried to leave. You’ve only talked to me twice since it happened; both times it was about the stupid rule that mom made,” I muttered. Dad didn’t seem to hear me. Instead, he decided to tell me about the third-worst thing I would ever experience in my life. Coincidently,

Lime Tree

Lovely lime leaf tree marching in the gloomy woods. In winter leaves sadly die. Birds chirp a beautiful song. My goodness, look how much you’ve grown! I said one sunny day. Every year lime leaves overflow the autumnal woods.

Laiomi and the Dragons

An elf girl tries to stop a dragon attack on her kingdom “What should we do about these attacks?” the knight said to his co-worker. “I don’t know . . . They’ve only happened in the outskirts of the kingdom so far. Not a lot of people have been hurt yet . . .” The other knight responded. “Nevertheless, those dragons have to be stopped.” Laiomi, who had been so entranced in the conversation that she had leaned out from her hiding spot behind one of the palace gates, quickly snapped back to behind the gate so she wouldn’t be seen. The knights wouldn’t want a fifteen-year-old elf girl listening in on their conversation. The sun was starting to set, and Laiomi figured she should get home (although, she would have liked to snoop on the knights some more). Sighing, she started down the cobblestone path leading away from the palace. “Dragons . . . Dragons . . . I wonder if they’re going to attack Ailiniae,” Laoimi muttered to herself. Ailiniae was the kingdom Laiomi lived in. It was beautiful, with tons of nature, and ornately carved buildings around every corner. But Laiomi didn’t live in one of these buildings; she lived in a small cottage with her mother and sister. As she was walking along the path, immersed in her own thoughts, she heard a loud rustle coming from the forest. She paused, and looked into the thick foliage, hoping to see the creature that had made the noise. Instead, she saw a large, looming black shadow stretching across the forest floor. Could it be the shadow of . . . a dragon? Laiomi rubbed her eyes. There couldn’t possibly be a dragon in the forest. She saw the warm glow of her cottage and quickly hurried to it. She opened the door, and inside were her mother’s and sister’s welcoming faces. “You were gone so late we were getting worried,” her mother said. “What in the world were you doing?” “Spying on the knights,” Laiomi said. Laiomi’s sister, whose name was Elinor and who was only ten years old, giggled with delight. “Oooh, what did they say?” she asked. She felt her feet moving, walking out of the small cottage and into the stillness of the night. “They said that the dragon attacks are getting worse, and that they might attack the kingdom.” “Oh . . . well . . . maybe the Dragon Charmer will come and save us!” Elinor suggested. Legend had it that if dragons were attacking the kingdom of Ailiniae, a brave young man with the power to charm dragons would come and stop them. “Maybe, dear,” said her mother, although she looked rather worried. Laiomi sighed. If dragons did attack, their only chance of survival would be the Dragon Charmer coming, however small that chance might be. Suddenly a sly smile spread across Elinor’s face. Laiomi followed her eyes up to the battered clock that hung on the wall. “Why Elinor, you little rascal! It’s way past your bedtime!” Laughing, her mother said, “Go to bed, Elinor! You need to get enough sleep.” Elinor giggled and jumped onto her small bed. A few hours later, both Laiomi’s sister and mother were fast asleep. Laiomi gazed out of the open window, from which a cool breeze was making its way into the house. Laiomi closed her eyes, enjoying the quiet sensation. But this only lasted for a few seconds; a ferocious roar split through the air. Laiomi’s family didn’t wake up, for they were still very deep in sleep. But the roar still rang through her ears, and it felt as though some invisible force was trying to get her to find the noise’s creator. She felt her feet moving, walking out of the small cottage and into the stillness of the night. Her thoughts became rather muddled and dazed. Although she didn’t know where this invisible force was taking her, she knew that she had some sort of job to do there. That thought pounded in her brain just as her heart pounded in her chest. She had a responsibility. The invisible force had told her that much. She just didn’t know what it was yet . . . Her feet had carried her to the edge of the forest. A sharp pain split through her head, and suddenly her thoughts returned to normal. She let out a small gasp, for she had had no idea what had just happened. Then, out from the dense trees and thickets of bushes came a dragon. It had shimmering red scales, large orange eyes, and a pair of glittering wings. It was around two times as tall as Laiomi. She stumbled backward. Her brain was telling her to run, move, do something, but every inch of her was frozen to the spot. Then, her pair of hazel eyes met the dragon’s orange ones, and something amazing happened. *          *          * It happened slowly. She could feel her soul melding with the dragon’s, as easily as a blacksmith melded gold with silver. And suddenly, she understood. She understood the attacks, and the dragons, and all of it. And she knew that she could help. The dragon had summoned her there. And it had told her something. “All this time,” Laiomi whispered to the dragon. “All this time, it hasn’t been you attacking. It’s been us.” The so-called dragon attacks hadn’t been the dragons attacking the people at all. It had been the people attacking the dragons. Visions of dragons lying injured on the ground flashed through her head. Her stomach twisted with anger and revulsion. “Please tell me,” Laiomi said to the dragon, “how can I help?” *          *          * Minutes later, Laiomi was walking toward the palace, determined and focused. The dragon flew silently beside her. They got to the palace door, which was flanked by two guards.

Swallows

At the crack of dawn, In the cloudless sky, Gulps of swallows perched on silver firs, Sing blithely to the wakening sun. When the sun bleeds its velvet wounds, Tainting the sky in crimson hues, Flocks of darkly plumaged swallows, Graze the sunlit waters, fringing it with shadows. When the sky is shrouded by an ebony cloak of stars, And the moon hangs at a perfect crescent, The swallows come aloft, Silent and obscured by the unfurling twilight. Their wingtips brush past the moon, Their wings no longer black, are now tasseled with moonlight.

state of peace

have you ever wondered what it feels like to fly? flying is falling, just in a different direction. jumping is swimming, just from a different angle. sometimes I wonder what weightlessness feels like. i walk towards the edge of the cliff. i wish I was a bird. birds are like rockets. rockets are like life. you grow, and grow, and grow, until you return to your original state of nothingness i forget what nothingness feels like. nothingness must be like weightlessness, just like falling is like flying. but if falling is weightlessness, is flying nothingness? weightlessness is tranquility, in its most pronounced form. i long for tranquility. the purely tranquil state seems like a dream dreams are like salad; they make you feel healthy, and joyous until you choke on the random peppercorn that just had to be there. if falling is weightlessness, and weightlessness is tranquility, then i wish to fall. to be at peace. i turn around and face the mountain. i grip the jagged rocks and climb up, up, higher and higher, until I am taller than the stars. i reach up, and i grasp the sun in the palm of my hand. i have reached the top of the world. and now i shall Fall

Drowning in a Memory

Micki faces her fears by jumping off a cliff I had always had a fear of heights. However, it was pretty inconsequential and did not play a significant role in my life. I was forced to overcome it if I wanted to tag along with my older cousins and keep up with the next activity or adventure they were planning. This time, it was to off to Blueberry Island. The island was an uninhabited rocky outcropping near my grandparents’ lake house in Montreal, Canada, accessed by kayak or motorboat. It was known for its abundant growth of wild blueberries every summer, hence its nickname. Jumping off a cliff is never my idea of fun, even if I have done it before. Or so I was made to believe. Since my cousins had pressured me into doing all sorts of crazy things with them in the past, I took it at face value when I was told that this was no big deal and that, of course, I had jumped from the highest point off Blueberry Island before. As it turned out, my cousins were wrong. “Ready?” my cousin Sam asked me. “Sure, but you’re going first,” I replied, squinting in the sunlight that was dancing on the water below me, the towering evergreens swaying slightly on the distant shore. “Okay.” “Three, two, one!” I counted down for him as he ran straight off the cliff, plummeting into the shimmering depths, about thirty-five feet below. Then it was my turn. I took a few deep breaths and then hurled myself off the cliff, following his lead. I thought I would glide elegantly through the air, smoothly slicing into the water. But it was the complete opposite. My descent was more like an unrestrained freefall and less like a graceful swan dive. Straight down, like a dead weight, with wind rushing through my ears, seemingly endless. And yet, despite my freefall, it seemed as though I actually had time. I was aware of my body moving, my arms flailing as I tried to stay balanced. It was like my universe was in slo-mo even though it was simultaneously on time-lapse. As soon as I hit the surface, I was in shock. Total stupor, my body numb. Pushing through the coldness of the water. I knew I must be okay, right? After all, over the years every single one of my cousins had done this jump many times before, and each and every one of them had survived. A few seconds later, all of that changed. The coldness seeped in, saturating my lungs. I couldn’t breathe; I was gasping for air. I tried propelling my arms through the water, but I couldn’t tell which way was up, or which way was down. I couldn’t see, the water burning my eyes. I squeezed them shut, though that proved to be an even bigger mistake. My life flashed before my eyes. The memories from that school year, times with my family, my cousins urging me to attempt the inconceivable. All of a sudden, I had a thought. A singular thought, in this moment of panic. That I would never surface. That I would never get to spend another summer at the lake house. Never have the opportunity to say a final goodbye to my friends. Not even a parting hug to my parents back home or a closing farewell to my cousins. Lonely Little Cottage No sooner than that thought blanketed my mind in a heavy veil, I repelled it back. I still had a chance. A chance to escape. A chance to live. With one powerful kick, I thrust myself to the surface, gasping for breath, the sun’s rays painting my face. I painstakingly swam to the boat, still dazed, choking and coughing, purging every droplet of the brackish lake water I had swallowed. I rested my head on the ledge of the motorboat’s swim platform, depleted, catching my breath. After a few seconds, my chest still heaving, my grandfather called out to me. “Micki,” he said, “do it again. You were too quick. I didn’t get a chance to video your jump for your mom.” I couldn’t tell whether or not he was joking, but somehow my head, still enshrouded in fog, bobbed up and down. Yes, I would do it all again. I swam back to shore, scrambled up the cliff, and ran, never looking back.

Editor’s Note

Does anything say summer fun and adventure more than this issue’s cover art, Summer Summer, by Kaavya Killawala? I just want to jump in and be part of it! But as Micki Mermelstein learns in her opening memoir, “Drowning in a Memory,” adventure often comes with risk. This season, we give you a wide spectrum of emotions and themes. It’s summer with an introspective twist. There are poems about falling, about swallows in the moonlight, about waves and sun and the spiritual experience of looking at the stars. But summer is also about escape, and we have that, too—with the funny story of a hermit crab who stands up to his bullies and not one but two fantasy stories to lose yourself in. We close with the final installment of War and Pieces by Alice Pak. It’s been an unflinching look at a friendship divided by war, but I find myself soothed by the note of hope it ends on. I encourage you to keep writing and creating this summer. Let the time away from school clear your mind, so you can explore new ideas and new ways of expressing yourself. There’s no time like the summer to take a creative risk! Happy adventuring! Diane Landolf